![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Jun. 13th, 2004 12:52 pmi'm back on the internet, hurrah! slowly, slowly working my way through to catch up on all that was written while i was picking up boxes... (livejournal-wise, i'm about 100 entries behind. yikes! but a big bunch of them are from the bookslut feed, which i generally skim. unless it's something super-interesting, like a suicide poem allegedly by abraham lincoln. maybe i have odd standards?)
but i just took a break, read a bit in a severed wasp... and one sentence happened to strike me. "Not everyone has to have a sense of vocation to be complete, but..." and it goes on with the conversation about a character who does. i suppose it's just the word, "vocation"... i hadn't thought about it in a long time. not having one, it's an incredible freedom... but dammit, it's been... has it really been nearly four years since mine broke or am i counting incorrectly? and i still miss it. sometimes i get impatient, i consider enrolling in the physics program at utk, attempting to hammer the old pieces back together. i've still got the same general mental capacity, i think, but i don't think i can make it work that way without the underlying pull... and i have no idea how to get that back, whether it's even possible to believe in one again. all the king's horses and all the king's men...
something to ponder later. but now, i've had too much coffee to sit still, i want to go play in the flower beds, see if i can figure out what's flowers and what's weeds.
(the quick-list of things this week that i'd normally have written about and might still if nothing happens next week... let's see, i learned the limits of my car's swimming abilities and got a classic damsel-in-distress rescue, dogs and cat aren't getting along badly as expected, i don't wish my now-former roommate any harm in iraq or anything but i could do without ever seeing her again, i can't believe ruby tuesdays can put more than 70 grams of fat in a turkey sandwich, and i need lawn mower buying advice... suggestions for a groovy new haircut and a place to get one are also being accepted, at least until tomorrow... see? you didn't miss much!)
but i just took a break, read a bit in a severed wasp... and one sentence happened to strike me. "Not everyone has to have a sense of vocation to be complete, but..." and it goes on with the conversation about a character who does. i suppose it's just the word, "vocation"... i hadn't thought about it in a long time. not having one, it's an incredible freedom... but dammit, it's been... has it really been nearly four years since mine broke or am i counting incorrectly? and i still miss it. sometimes i get impatient, i consider enrolling in the physics program at utk, attempting to hammer the old pieces back together. i've still got the same general mental capacity, i think, but i don't think i can make it work that way without the underlying pull... and i have no idea how to get that back, whether it's even possible to believe in one again. all the king's horses and all the king's men...
something to ponder later. but now, i've had too much coffee to sit still, i want to go play in the flower beds, see if i can figure out what's flowers and what's weeds.
(the quick-list of things this week that i'd normally have written about and might still if nothing happens next week... let's see, i learned the limits of my car's swimming abilities and got a classic damsel-in-distress rescue, dogs and cat aren't getting along badly as expected, i don't wish my now-former roommate any harm in iraq or anything but i could do without ever seeing her again, i can't believe ruby tuesdays can put more than 70 grams of fat in a turkey sandwich, and i need lawn mower buying advice... suggestions for a groovy new haircut and a place to get one are also being accepted, at least until tomorrow... see? you didn't miss much!)
